10 Wishes I Have For my Daughters
I'll never forget when I found out I was having a daughter. It was quite literally the happiest moment of my life. Well, it was until she was actually born and I held her tiny little self in my arms. She was the most perfect little human.
I get to watch her grow up and it has been the biggest privilege of my life. But as I watched her navigate some of the milestones of life outside my protective sphere, I started to remember what growing up was like for me and that's when the fear started to set in. The bullying, the self-doubt, the self-image problems, the confidence issues. Navigating mean girls and rude boys. Navigating boys in general. (ugh)
Last year, my joy was doubled when I had a second little girl. And so was my fear.
I wanted to find a way to transplant my life's knowledge and experience, all of the work I have done in my personal development, all the mistakes I've made and the lessons I've learned into their little brains and souls so that they wouldn't have to go through what I have.
But I know that's not going to be entirely possible. I can communicate with them, tell them my story, teach them my lessons...but it's human nature to want to figure it out for yourself. And sometimes it's not even a choice.
So I wish. Every single day I look at my Mini-Me 1 and Mini-Me 2, and I wish...
I wish for them to know that their value and their worth is not found in a number...whether it's a grade in school, on the tag of a pair jeans they want to buy, or on a scale. They are so much more than an arbitrary means of measure like a number.
I wish for them to know that they don't have to learn to juggle to be a good mom, a good partner, a good employee, a good boss, a good woman. They can expect to drop balls regularly, and it's okay if they do. In fact, it's okay to put them all down and just pick up one at a time in whatever order they deem important that day.
I wish for them to know that "No." is a complete sentence. They will never owe anyone an explanation for saying it.
I wish for them to never feel like they have to cut away parts of who they are to fit into a box someone else has constructed.
I wish for them to never dumb down their intelligence to make anyone else around them feel more comfortable.
I wish for them to always trust their gut. Often our intuition knows the score long before our brain does. If it doesn't feel right, I want them to know they can change their mind and walk away. At any point. Always.
I wish for them to always embrace their emotions, and to never feel bad for experiencing them. I want them to know their emotions are sign posts, signals showing that something is out of alignment. And that they should welcome and embrace them as their own inner wisdom.
I wish for them to know that they don't ever have to do anything to make other people happy. They are not responsible for anyone else's happiness.
I wish for them to know that kindness and compassion may not always get them to the top, but it will make every experience a worthwhile one.
I wish for them to know I will always love them, no matter how they show up every day. And no matter how old they get, my lap and my arms will always be their safe space.