Co-Sleeping With A Toddler - Is It Good Or Bad?
First I want to start off by saying that the more I write, the more I realize how many opinions and arguments there are based off of just motherhood alone. Seriously, we have way more on our plates and worries to care about what others are doing, and saying. What you do, the decisions you make, and the way that you parent is between you, your child and your family. In no way, shape, or form, should you feel like you owe an explanation. BECAUSE YOU DON'T!
I choose to share certain parts of my life and journey because I want to connect and inspire other women especially those who feel alone. I, too, felt bullied and alone during, what should’ve been, the most exciting time of my life. Raising a little human, a love so profound and deep that nothing or no one could ever tear apart.
But I let social media control me and it temporarily caused depression, anxiety, and self-destruction. And, by self-destruction, I mean I stopped taking care of myself to achieve what others were achieving.
It all started with Googling ideas of how to improve Liam's sleeping patterns. I was so sleep deprived and desperate to find something that would work for all of us.
I knew that I had to figure something out but also nothing so drastic that would frustrate us. We soon found ourselves co-sleeping every single night. I won’t lie because a part of me at that time felt so defeated. I kept thinking “WOW, I’ve completely ruined my chances of sleeping and Liam becoming independent.”.
Looking back now, I wish I had eased up and let go of the “I need to train my child to sleep.” mindset. Some things just don’t go the way that you want them to and sleep was that for me.
A year later and we are still co-sleeping. Liam has not pushed us off the bed and we haven’t been kicked as much as we thought we were going to be.
And I started thinking about all of the different things that have improved in the year that we have been co-sleeping.
1. WE ARE SLEEPING! We are finally getting a normal amount of sleep, without the constant walking back and forth from room-to-room. It's no longer a stress of "Will we get sleep?" and a fight about who's getting up to soothe him.
2. LIAM IS SLEEPING WITHOUT ANY SOOTHING! He is sleeping more than we are, it's actually pissing me off LOL.
3. Liam isn’t anxious and dependent on our every move. We have a very simple and relaxed bed time routine that we follow every night. It's as easy as turning the light off and he'll pass out with ten minutes tops.
4. We've become even closer as a family. Edgar, my husband, works out of the home, so his time with Liam is very limited compared to mine. He gets to see him every night before he falls asleep, whereas before he wouldn't see him at all until he woke up hysterically crying in the middle of the night. We read books and just chit chat with Liam, toddler style.
5. We've become confident parents and trust each other's judgement. Making this decision to co-sleep was proof that we needed to trust ourselves and our way of parenting. We, now, do not second guess ourselves.
This isn't an article to persuade you into co-sleeping. This to inspire you to follow your mama gut. After all, you know your child, or children, more than anyone in the world.
If it makes you and your family happy, healthy, and sane, I encourage it.
As always, feel free to message me or connect with me on Instagram @AmywithaTwist.
Hope you enjoyed this article :)