Prior to having a baby, my husband and I had all the time in the world, go figure. We were well rested, we were adventurous and we were always coming up with places to visit. We traveled and took spontaneous trips, and enjoyed every moment of just US. 

When we decided to start trying for a baby, we knew that once she/he came into this work, we would not be able to be as spontaneous or as adventurous as we were prior to her. We knew what was expected of us, as parents, and we were ready to slow down a little. We just knew that we couldn’t lose who we were.

The first couple of months, as new parents, our life completely changed, for the better but much harder. As many new moms and days, we never slept, barely ate, bickered over the smallest things-because of the lack of sleep and food and were constantly on edge. I struggled with breastfeeding and he struggled with watching me struggle. 

One night, with all the overwhelming things happening around us, he asked to take me out on a date. 

My mom came over to babysit our daughter; I pumped enough milk to last a couple of hours, we got into the car, leaving her with someone else for the first time, alone, and drove off. There were so many moments were we both just wanted to turn around and go back to her, but we didn’t. We continued driving and we made it to the restaurant, without any tears (typically from my end). 

We sat, were able to finish our dinner-without disruption, laugh, catch up and simple enjoy each other’s company.

Once we got home, we realized that our baby was fine. She was fed, sleeping and grandma took great care of her. We realized that we did nothing wrong. We realized that taking a couple of hours to be US and not just mom and dad was healthy. It was healthy for our marriage. Since that night, we continue to go out a few times a month. With friends or alone, to dinners, dancing and even vacations. We realized that once Sara was in bed, us sneaking out for some fun wasn’t taking any time away from her. 

So go out! Take your husband, or wife, and just go. Go live; go enjoy each other’s company. Go celebrate and laugh and reminisce. Because those couple of hours can save your marriage, it can rebuild it. Don’t have any guilt over doing so either. Just because you are YOU more, does not make you less of a mom or dad.