Where we live there are 3 major hospitals, a small amount of mid-wives, and the nearest birthing center is about 1 hour away. Currently I am about half way through my 3rd pregnancy and it has got me posing this question to myself more out of personal experience then debate.
My Birthing experiences so far for the last 2 pregnancies have been routine hospital deliveries. However I have always been intrigued and drawn towards a home birth. With my first pregnancy I was positive that would be the route I would go. Then the first time mom jitters hit, a case of first trimester Placenta Previa, and a small early labor scare, the hospital seemed like the best route to go at the time. Que second pregnancy with twins, it seemed my dream of a home birth was off the table entirely due to all the excess monitoring for something called Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome and just the general anxiety of delivering 2 babies at once. I actually recently learned it is illegal in our state to have a home birth of twins.
I do want to share I have nothing against hospital deliveries or hospitals for that matter. I met some amazing professionals through my deliveries and NICU experiences. What turns me off about starting your prenatal care here through our Women's Clinics or Hospitals you are seeing a team of Drs, and or Mid-wives they employ. It is a roulette of who you will see at each appointment, and when problems a rise your guess is as good as mine on who best to contact besides an answering service. There is never a true personal connection formed. When you go about hiring a mid-wife for home delivery it is a very personal, bonding thing. It is based off of connection, and the time you are able to spend together prior to the delivery far exceeds any amount of time you spend seeing your doctor in the hospital, unless you count waiting room times of course.
I want this delivery so badly to feel a little less clinical then my past experiences. There is something I have found about the hustle and bustle of the normal delivery experience in the hospital I haven't enjoyed. The anxiety it has brought me. Times where I have had to question choices of professionals, and push back on my boundaries as a mother and parent that I would rather feel supported in. I want the educational experience of childbirth to feel like it is mutual not out of fear of not understanding situations or choices that may arise in the hospital setting. Though important either way. When it comes to the labor and delivery scenario I have found that the care, and compassion have seemed to be lacking in an otherwise well performing hospital.
I had for the most part un-complicated deliveries. At 39 weeks my water broke at home with my first born around 4:45 am, and at 7:02 my little guy was delivered un-medicated and naturally. My twins surprisingly and terrifyingly everything went even quicker! My water broke at home around 11:30 pm at 36 weeks and 6 days! 1 day shy of full term for Twins. Twin A was delivered at 12:58 am and Twin B was delivered at 1:06 am naturally and un-medicated. Not "needing" much extra care after delivery and being able easily get around or have the assistance of my husband, I longed to be home so bad in the comfort of our environment with our new family, to relax, rest, and bond. There were times in the hospital that felt so intrusive, the constant check ins at all hours of the night. The pokes and prods that all felt so un-natural in such a natural time. And in my small one week stay in the NICU where without a lot of close family around, I wished I had so much more support and comfort in such a whirlwind of events.
So that brings me here. To my current decision and question on the route I will ultimately choose for my 3rd delivery. After wanting to seek out just a little more personal care for myself and my family. Wanting to feel like I have someone besides my husband who is on my side as a mother, who is trained in maternal care. Trusting strongly in my ability to deliver my babies, and wanting to be surrounded by a few less strangers. There will always be those nagging what if's in the back of your mind. I would hate to look back someday and regret not doing things the way I have always hoped for. So do I go the fearless route or the way I have felt compelled and strongly for in my heart?
I guess we will see as I move forward. As I research, educate, and prepare myself just like in the past. That is always the most important factor in every scenario. Your pre-natal care and delivery experience is so unique to you! This is only my personal journey with it. All comfort levels, birthing experiences, and beliefs are so different. They all lead to strong mothers, beautiful babies, and amazing birth stories. NO matter how your babies came into this world to greet you, so please don't forget that!
We have got this, right Momma?