How Mommy Got Her “Groove” Back
“How do you do it? That’s one question I get asked a lot when people find out I have three children, all a year and 1/2 apart. I honestly don’t know sometimes. I have an amazing husband who is very supportive and a hands on kind of dad. He helps me a lot when he is home from work. There are times when I am super overwhelmed, for example when we came back from our recent trip to Italy, we didn’t take the children, I came back to a sick toddler, plus a preschooler who was being extra sassy and wasn’t quite listening the first time I asked her to do something, on top of being jet lagged it was like a smack back to mommy hood. Needless to say I was a “mombie” - a walking, grumpy, tired momma. I tried to get back into the groove of things but for some reason I couldn’t and I felt some mom guilt because I had just enjoyed a pleasant trip and here I was having a hard time getting back into the rhythm of my household. I knew I had to do something because every time my hubby came home from work, I would snap at him for anything.
So what did I do to get back into my mom groove?
First, I finally opened up to my husband and told him how I was having a hard time getting back into the groove of “mommin” and how I felt guilty and didn’t say anything because we had just come back from a trip. We decided that I needed a break and I took a whole day for myself. I went to get coffee, went to a book store, went to the park to read a book that I had bought, did some shopping and finally headed home.
While I was driving I was calm, relaxed and happy. It felt good to have a day to myself. It also gave me time to think and reflect and realize why I was having a hard time at home with my kids. I had so much mom guilt for leaving them for almost a week, although this was the first time ever that I had left my children. And when we got back I kind of let them get away with a little more. If they wanted to stay up a little later I let them, if they wanted that extra snack I gave it to them and so on. They had already had a different routine while we were away and here I was not following our usually routine.
Which brings me to the second thing I did to get back into my mommy groove. I went back and set up a routine, consistency is so important for kids and yourself. This way they exactly know what comes next in their day to day routine and it also lessens tantrums. It was hard to start up a routine again but by the third day it went on smoothly for me and for them.
Third, realize that it’s ok and normal to have some mom guilt once in a while and it’s totally ok to take a whole day off. Just learn not to be so hard on yourself. My children had the time of their life while they stayed with their godparents and here I was feeling so bad because we had left them for the first time. I didn’t need to to compensate for leaving them behind they just needed me back to feel loved, happy and safe. And that’s how mommy got her groove back.