Becoming a mom, whether for the first time or tenth time, is like starting a new job. With each new child you bring into this world, you are constantly having to adjust to meet their needs. Each new baby coming into your life is like getting a new boss while the other bosses never go away. You literally have as many bosses as you have children. You are pushed and pulled in so many different directions.
You have to adapt. You have to be flexible. You have to let go of what you thought you knew to be true because, let’s be honest, each of your bosses can be very demanding and very picky.
So, while you’re busy learning how to please each of your bosses (er, I mean children), it is easy to lose yourself along the way. As you are expecting a new child, you can’t predict exactly who they are going to be. You can, however, prepare yourself for how you plan to hold on to who you were before you become ‘mom.’
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Have a hobby that keeps you grounded
Are you a fitness junkie, love to create things, or can’t get enough of cooking delicious meals? One of the worst things that you can do as a mom to a new baby is to give those things up entirely.
A great way to hold on to your identity, separate from ‘mom,’ is to do the things that you love. Will you be able to do them for the same duration or at the exact time of day you used to do it? Probably not. However, with a little flexibility in your day and help from loved ones, you should find a creative way to fit your hobbies in to your daily routine.
Once you stop, it can be incredibly difficult to get back into things. So it is important that you are proactive in finding times for your hobbies rather than realizing they have dissolved entirely since your baby arrived.
Not only will you keep your sanity by doing things that you enjoy but your children will also learn from you. Your kids will observe you partaking in things that make you happy and that make their mom ‘mom.’
Loosen the reigns and ask for help
When I had my first son, I was able to keep up with the demands of housework, cooking, and other errands. Things weren’t always perfect but I found ways to make it work.
Enter Son #2. I found myself getting overly stressed out about things that I couldn’t get done. Dishes piling up in the sink, overflowing laundry baskets, and takeout three nights in a row became normal. Man, I was in a funk.
The issue really stemmed from me not asking people for help and bending my Type A personality to be just slightly less controlling. My husband would get home from work at night and I wouldn’t want to burden him with folding the laundry - even though he was willing. My mom would ask if she could bring dinner over and I would decline because I wanted her to think I had everything under control.
When people offer their assistance, I have come to find, that they actually mean it and want to help. Stress can really break a person and turn them into someone who they’re not.
Begin your transition into motherhood with accepting help when offered and asking for help when you need it. By starting to practice this skill now, it will be easier when you have a new little baby at home.
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With each new baby added to a family, priorities tend to shift. You may notice that your house becomes cluttered more easily or that your kitchen floor isn’t as mopped as frequently as it used to be.
I’m here to tell you that it’s all alright.
As someone who gets stressed out when I can see dog hair on the floor, I know that it is hard to look the other way when you have a thousand other things to tackle on your to-do list. I get it!
However, as a mom with a young family, I also realize that you can never get the minutes, hours, or days back with my precious babies. Once they are gone, they are gone. I sometimes marvel at the fact that I already have a 20-month-old and a 3-month-old. How did I get here?
Make sure that you are taking time out of your already busy schedule to actually enjoy these moments with your family. As long as your house isn’t a health hazard, cleaning can wait. Become aware of what is truly important to you and place your focus there. Your babies are only little for so long.
You will be able to look back at these days with fondness rather than regret.
Just as you should prioritize time with your kiddos, you should also set time aside for yourself. That’s right, I said it. You deserve it!
Everyone needs time to recharge. Without it, you won’t be able to function your best and mama burnout is a real thing. Similar to identifying hobbies, you need to identify ways to help yourself feel amazing and able to take on the world.
By making this commitment to yourself now, it will be easier to stick to as your family grows and changes with each child. You owe it to yourself and your children to be the best version of yourself. So get your toes painted, go for that run, or spend time with your friends. It will make a world of difference in your mood.
Wondering what other good mom advice you never got? Read more here!