I’m Doing the Best I Can
There are some days as a stay-at-home mom of four young kids that I feel as though I’ve conquered the world and then some—getting things checked off my errand list, orchestrating fun activities for the kids, getting them to actually eat what I make, making homework time fun instead of a struggle, and nailing bedtime. Then there are the days when I feel like I’ve failed at every turn. But the good thing about bad days is that there is an opportunity to start fresh the next morning.
There was a morning not too long ago that my morning started a little off schedule—happens a lot. I have to get my 6-year-old boy twins on the bus by 8:15 and then I have to drive my 4-year-old girls twins to preschool across town by 9:30 three days per week. And one of my boys is as slow as molasses in the morning needing constant reminders and redirection. I’m sure many of you mamas out there can relate. I try so hard to keep him on task and get everyone out the door on time. This one particular morning, time had gotten away from me due to other household distractions. By the time I realized my son was not entirely ready to walk out the door, the bus was literally approaching the house. I was like a maniac throwing coats and backpacks on them to avoid missing the bus.
The bus driver is a mom of triplets, so she sympathizes and never hesitates to wait an extra few seconds if she doesn’t see us right away. As the boys were running frantically towards the bus, a woman in a car behind the bus inconvenienced by the extra 30 seconds was beeping her horn over and over again. As the bus rolled away, she rolled down her window and shouted obscenities at me through her window. My moment of triumph over getting both boys off to school turned to instant defeat. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry. But what I really wanted to do was shout at the top of my lungs, “I’M DOING THE BEST I CAN!!!”
I find myself saying this over and over again to my kids, but as they are far too young to “get it,” it falls on deaf ears. Maybe they don’t fully understand right now that Mommy is doing the very best she can, but my hope for the future is that they will one day realize how hard I tried to be the best mom that I could be.
I saw a quote recently that really resonated with me because it felt as if someone was talking directly to me. It read: “Hey you, yeah you. You are doing great, you are enough. Give yourself a break. The kids are going to turn out just fine.” So maybe I didn’t conquer the world today and that’s ok. Did I love and care for my children to the very best of my ability today? The answer is “yes” and that’s the only thing that truly matters.