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About Being Present

About Being Present
February 28, 2020

Today was jog-a-thon at my twins' school! I always get really anxious because it takes up a lot of time, but they really wanted me there and honestly how many more years will they ask for me to be there? They're in 2nd grade so I feel like my years are numbered.

We got ready and got to school. For some reason I felt less anxious this time, less worried about how much time this was going to take, and more focused on them! 

We started the jog--well they jogged, I kind of had to walk a lot (LOL), but we did it!

We ran and walked together for an hour! It was the most magical hour I've had with them in a while. We were cheering each other on, no phones, and no distractions other than trying to stay close to each other and avoid running into a million other little kiddos. Occasionally we would hold hands, and every time one of the girls was ahead of me, they made sure to turn back and check to make sure I was still there--causing my heart to burst each time they did so.

I left school almost a couple hours after the event started and I couldn't stop thinking about how amazing today was. I was present. I remembered every little smile, every hand hold, and every drink of water we shared. Its amazing how something so small like walking around an elementary school track could end up meaning so much to me. And I know it meant a lot to them to have me there. 

So today I am hoping to continue to be present. To take in all the little moments that can actually be so big! A small chat in the car, a little walk around the block, or cheering to a water break with them. 

As moms we forget how much these little moments make our kids so, so happy. Maybe because we have so much to "worry" about all the time that the small things to us sometimes become insignificant. But by actually being present and partaking in these little moments, with no distractions and no other space in our minds for anything other than our kids, cause these moments to become so, so big. 

I hope my girls always ask me to come to school functions, I hope they always want to hold my hand. I hope they always want me to walk them to school and pick them up right by their classroom door. But I know this won't always be the case. So I will try my best to be more present for these little moments. These small 30 second events that take place all day long. The moments that mean the most to my girls, and in turn are the most rewarding moments for me.

Erin B Follow

My name is Erin Bulcao. I have been married for 10 years and live in San Diego, CA. My husband and I conceived our twin girls (Eliana and Natalia) via IUI and they are now 8.5 years old. They are my world, super sassy and super fun (most of the time). I am a yoga instructor although had to take time off since I am going through IVF currently for that third baby! We have been going through treatments for 2.5 years now. It’s been a journey but its brought my entire little family closer together and shown me what it means to be patient, resilient and grateful for the two miracles that I do have. I lived in Mexico City until I was 12 and am one of those “Mexican Jews” people seem to think are so rare haha. I’m obsessed with Broadway musicals and hope to be in one someday (although my singing voice only sounds good in the shower). Love being a mom! I was 27 when I had my twins and cannot imagine life without them!

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