Did I ever dream I would be a mother to 3 soon to be 4 children? The truth is no. I am the youngest of a family of 6. I grew up thinking my mother was crazy for having that many children. My pre-child self would see women out with shopping carts full of little ones and be in awe of their juggling skills and think how on earth do they manage. Big families always screamed dysfunction to me, I lived it, I thought I knew. However It never stopped me from that desire and longing to be a mother. That I knew was in my plans.
Baby #1 was long wished for. As we waited, and waited, and hoped and wished patiently. I focused on my career, I became familiar and confident with who I was as a woman. We carelessly tried, but "didn't". Then we tried with our hearts set, and when that didn't work, I began charting my BBT (basal body temperature) like second nature every morning. Until FINALLY we got our positive! Our long awaited bundle of joy. Nothing has ever seemed to fall into place more than finally meeting our sweet baby boy.
I fell in love with being a mother, I resumed my work passionately without skipping a beat and I soaked in all of the glory of the first time motherhood journey. All the ups, and all of those downs! Mixed with all euphoria that is the smell of your babies after long days.
Baby #2 & #3 was on our radar, and when I say on our radar what I mean to say is that we always wanted 2, or 3 a couple years apart. What was not on our radar necessarily, was identical TWINS! Surprise, we got our bonus babe! AND QUICK. After our previous journey to becoming parents wasn't at the snap of our fingers we were pretty shocked, and stoked when we got a positive test when our first born was only 15 months old. After what was only 2 normal cycles while weaning from breastfeeding. There is no denying this duo was in our cards!
They rocked our world! From a high risk pregnancy to (thankfully) a short NICU stay. Juggling and becoming in tune with two small infants growing into two dare-devil curious toddlers. Tandem Nursing, double diapers, double personalities, double cries, just double it all! But we found our rhythm, our normal. Soon the overwhelming was just another part of our parenthood experience. It was doable! We were managing and happily loving our 3 boys. I did pause my career at the end of my pregnancy, and choose to remain home as time went on. It turns out I was really enjoying the mother and person they were molding me into.
If you are ever curious about how well your marriage can thrive, how long you can hide your darkest days, your insecurities or maybe how fast you can become grounded, truly thankful, present. Maybe even blown away by the miraculous power of bringing your children into this world and meeting the little people with bold personalities they become, just add a few more or maybe 2 at a time into the mix! It will be very apparent fast! It is a strange fulfillment I would never have been able to describe before children.
Are you feeling WOWed yet?
Baby #4! WOW. WOW was our response and also the collective response of a lot of acquaintances, and people near and dear to us. Our situation, large families, children all close in age, are a definite cause for a WOW factor. For other parents, non-parents, and strangers alike. Remember I started off that girl too. For those that were fellow mothers with that response: Girl, I know! But here is the truth, baby #4 was never off the table entirely for us even with said WOW factor. We fell in love with our tiny tribe, and ourselves as parents and team mates. Our hearts were open to a maybe, someday, but lets survive this first. You know, the whirlwind of 3 under 3, a year with a 2 year old and infant twins, all of that nitty gritty stuff told us for now, we were done. Like I said surviving over here but foreseeable thriving. Well failed contraceptive, wacky hormones, the final month of nursing twins, one positive pregnancy test later and Baby #4 just had his or her Summer announcement go live!
We will be wowing those around us, for the next 9 months and beyond. My take away of it all? I am truly WOWed and humbled to have the pleasure of experiencing growing and nurturing life. Not all women with that desire get to experience it, that was a fear of mine once. The memories and moments good, bad, emotional, rough, tough, beautiful are truly mind blowing. Watching the love of siblings, the adaption of a growing family, parenting choices and decisions that come back to you in such a joyous way is wow. The level of multi tasking, and organized chaos is wow. The women I have grown to be in this stage of life and the family we have created proudly makes me say wow. A feeling I know won't dwindle over time for anyone.
So I look forward to all the WOW to come. This will be our final baby. We have been wowed enough in that department. My heart, my love, and my wow go out to all the other Mommas with hearts still unfulfilled, or over flowing. Growing their families, announcing their coming joys and in the trenches slaying motherhood day in and day out!
You Momma are just WOW, don't forget it!