Worrying is what we all do
Every so often I find myself feeling sad because I imagined a different life for our boy.
I remember the day he was born.
And we told everyone the name.
His name is "Avery".
I remember my family saying " that boy is going to be an airplane pilot ".
All from a name & without even meeting you yet.
Everyone had a vision, a picture, an idea of what your future would hold.
At one time I thought it would be a better life, if autism was not part of Avery's story.
Autism is no walk in the park for Avery or our family.
Sometimes I wonder.
Sometimes I am sad.
& yet I see Avery so happy, flapping, jumping & running back and forth for hours.
Avery the boy who most definitely won't be an airplane pilot.
Avery was diagnosed with severe non verbal autism many years ago.
It seems like yesterday Avery was brought into this world.
11 years old now & thriving most days I keep reminding myself.
Something I never thought I'd say & also a stranger thing to emphasize.
Truth is Avery isn't always thriving in a world that simply wasn't made for him.
But what I want to tell you all is this.
I may have had a certain life pictured for Avery in my mind before we knew autism was part of our story.
Everyone else may have had a vision of a life pictured for Avery when he was first born.
But the truth is none of that matters.
Sure I find myself in waves of sadness from time to time.
& when I am in that wave of sadness.
I remind myself all of this & more.
He is unique.
He is incredibly smart.
He is ours.
He is strong.
He wasn't supposed to be anyone else.
He wasn't supposed to have the life we originally pictured & that is okay.
An atypical life never got stolen away from Avery.
An atypical life full of experiences never got taken away from Avery.
An atypical life was not what our boy Avery was going to experience ever in his lifetime.
& everytime I see Avery smile, laugh & blow me a kiss.
I am reminded everything in this life may not always be easy to navigate for Avery.
But our Avery finds joy in places most of us simply can't.
Maybe more of us need to be more like him some days.