I’m going to dive right into it. Lately I’ve been feeling small. The world is large with lots and lots of wonderful people. I live with some of those people. I have a beautiful family, I see them daily, speak to them daily, and have almost no alone time, yet I feel lonely, disconnected to the large world I’m a part of. Often times I drive in my car to drop my daughter to school and I see the hustle and bustle on the road and I remember life exists outside of my home and people are doing things.
Then I think, I AM doing things, many things. I’m always very busy. All week long there is laundry, dishes, vacuuming, driving kids to school, food shopping, making appointments, keeping appointments, packing snacks, making food, changing diapers, wiping faces, giving medicine, feeding children, bathing children, more laundry ... the list goes on and on. All the while, maintaining friendships, my marriage and my sanity via bits and pieces of writing, reading or a favorite show. There is never a dull moment yet somehow I feel detached from the world around me. It’s not a sadness, but a smallness.
How could I feel small, when what I’m doing for my family is so big? Raising children is a big job. A tall order if you are trying to do it right, well, the best you can. My heart is big, filled with love and pride. I’m proud of my children, my home, my family. Yet every now and then, I feel there’s a larger world outside of this that I’m just not a part of. I feel like there’s a contribution I need to be making bigger than what I’m doing. The day to day tasks I’ve been doing feel like they are not making an impact on the world at large. I’m not creating world peace or changing any laws. I’m not lower taxes, creating jobs or motivating others to do so. The more I thought about my feeling of smallness the worse I felt. I want to make my mark on the world.
So I’ve given this a lot of thought and it hit me. You don’t always have to make huge contributions to create change in the world. Change is created one person at a time and has a ripple effect. So if I keep on in my corner of the world, raising my children to be good people, creating a life of love and sharing that with those I meet, I am definitely bigger than I believe. To my children, I am the whole world. I am the big picture, as big as it gets and that is huge! On the days I feel small I decided I am going to focus on how big my heart is instead. Having love in my heart for my kids, those around me and taking the small opportunities I have to make a difference where I can, is in fact having a big impact.
Sometimes it just feels like all you're doing is making french fries, picking up endless toys and wiping bottoms all day. What you’re actually doing is nourishing spirits, modeling gentleness and exhibiting love. All those seemingly small tasks you do day to day, aren’t just meaningless busy work, they are actually symbols of warmth, caring, gratitude, appreciation and kindness. The next time you’re going through your day to day feeling small, remember it’s all the day to day small things that create the life changing big things. Raising good, kindhearted people and sending them into the world to be leaders of our future is super important. YOU are super important.
So to all the Mommas out there doing their day to day, feeling a little disconnected, maybe feeling small in their corner of the world, working for their families in or out of the home, whatever you are doing in love, you are doing something big. If each person gives what they can each day then change occurs outside of you and you do have an impact on the world. We all make up the whole and each person has their own way of making their mark and there is nothing small about that.